Daft Wullie

Not the most intelligent of Pictsies, Daft Wullie is nonetheless one of Chalk Hill Clan's best thieves, although every mission he been in charge of has been a failure. Often making suggestions like "Can we swim there?" after another has said it's too far to walk, he hasn't many good ideas, but is always trying to contribute, and 'show willin.' He was in charge of the raiding party that needed turpentine, sheep's wool and Jolly Sailor tobacco. He is a brother of Rob Anybody, who often tells Wullie when he has said something foolish. In Wintersmith, Wullie adopts Horace the Cheese, the sentient Lancre Blue cheese that was previously something like a pet of Tiffany's.

Daft Wullie: annotation

In George McDonald Fraser[1]'s autobiographical stories about his time as an officer in the Gordon Highlanders (ie, real-life Feegles in Highland army uniforms) there is a character called "Daft Bob" by his fellows. Bob is a Glaswegian, but so amazingly soft in the heid that he fervently supports neither Celtic nor Rangers but the lowly Glasgow side Partick Thistle. (the parallel is coming from Liverpool and wearing the tangerine scarf of Tranmere Rovers, or residing in Manchester and spurning United or City for Stockport County). Bob also correctly divines that his brand-new commanding officer has, in his first three days with the Regiment, fallen foul of the byzantine rules of the Officers' Mess and ended up on a charge. As well as being daft enough to notice what should not be his concern, he then sets McDonald-Fraser right with well-meant good advice, a thing a private soldier should not normally do to his officer. Hence "Daft Bob" - for either not knowing or not especially caring what the rules are, he just is, and regularly proceeds to say what he's thinking, however daft or ill-advised it is. It is clear that Bob is a khaki idiot savant, a trait he shares with the Feegle Daft Wullie.

There is also a "Wee Wullie", a giant of a man and when sober, a good soldier, but when drunk, capable of such acts as declaring war on the entire United States Marine Corps - and winning. In thirty years' service he has managed promotion to the rank of Private.

Rob Anybody's alter-ego in the Highlanders is most probably the dapper barrack-room lawyer Private Fletcher, who serves much the same function for Daft Bob as Rob does to Daft Wullie. (Book: The General Danced At Dawn, Pan paperbacks)

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