Victor Tugelbend

Victor Tugelbend
File:Victormine.jpg Victor in the golden days of Holy Wood by Kit Cox
Name	Victor Tugelbend
Race	Human
Age	young
Occupation	Student Wizard, Star of Moving Pictures
Physical appearance	Fit with a pencil thin Tash, broad shoulders
Residence	Holy Wood
Death
Parents	unknown
Relatives	Uncle, Hector Tugelbend, deceased; Uncle Osric, status unknown
Children	unknown
Marital Status
Appearances
Books	Moving Pictures.
Cameos

Victor "Can't sing, can't dance, can handle a sword a little" Tugelbend (stage name Victor Maraschino) is first seen as a perpetual Student wizard, and friend of Ponder Stibbons, at the Unseen University Ankh-Morpork in the book Moving Pictures. He later becomes a leading actor, if not the leading actor in the Discworld's prolific, but short lived, film industry.

He played a major part in saving the world from Holy Wood magic, notably the Librarian of the Unseen University when during the premiere of "Blown Away" an enormous version of leading lady, Ginger (Aka Theda Withel), grabs hold of the ape and climbs to the top of the Tower of Art.

Victor is also the first human talking dog Gaspode strikes up a friendship with.

Victor's defining personality trait is his active laziness - he goes to great lengths to avoid work. His uncle left him a legacy that would pay his tuition as a student at Unseen University, but only so long as he got above an 80 on every exam he took. The mark required to pass and become a wizard is 88. Since Victor much preferred the life of the student wizard, where nobody was actively trying to kill him, he studied extremely hard and carefully got an 84 on every single exam except for three (once, he passed by accident, but argued his grade down a few points, and got an 82 and an 83 on the next two to be safe). The Bursar eventually noticed this and gave him an exam with one question - "What is your name?" - but Victor never took it, having headed off to Holy Wood instead. In this way, he is indirectly responsible for the ascension of Ponder Stibbons to UU's faculty, as Ponder ended up with his exam.

Victor also stayed in shape because it was easier to get through life with the strength and dexterity to accomplish tasks easily, and dragging around a bunch of fat was more effort.

In the wake of the prohibition of moving-picture production, Victor's subsequent location and circumstances are unknown, although it's mentioned in Moving Pictures that he reminisced about Holy Wood and its strange architecture some years later.

Annotation

"Can't sing, can't dance, can handle a sword a little" is an obvious reference to Fred Astaire's supposed screen test result of "Can't sing. Can't act. Balding. Can dance a little."

In Richard Gordon's Doctor in the House series of comic novels, which follow a group of medical students through graduation and into medical jobs, a medical student called Grimsdyke is pushing thirty and for the previous eight years has been failing his final exams. But he has very carefully ensured that he only just fails them by the slenderest of margins. On being questioned by Simon Sparrow, Grimsdyke confesses that he is living off a trust fund set up to help him through medical school, which will end when he graduates. But he has to make sure that he doesn't fail his exams by such an abject margin that the medical school will not let him retake his Finals every year. The intellectual effort involved in avoiding graduation has given Grimsdyke a medical knowledge rivalling that of his senior tutor, consultant Sir Lancelot Spratt. (What a Discworld-wizard name that is...) Grimsdyke's knowledge and acumen is generously shared with the other students, particularly Sparrow, to whom he takes a paternal shine.