Evadne Cake

Mrs Cake
Mrs Cake
Name	Evadne Cake
Race	Human
Age
Occupation
Physical appearance
Residence	Ankh Morpork
Death
Parents
Relatives	Great Uncle Erasmus
Children	Daughter, Ludmilla Cake
Marital Status	Widow (though still talks to husband)
Appearances
Books	Reaper Man, Men at Arms
Cameos	Jingo, Going Postal, Making Money, Feet of Clay

Don't ask. – the Ankh-Morpork Post Office

Mrs. Evadne Cake is a psychic medium. Her size is small, but her hat and purse are extra-large. When Mrs. Cake sits with her hat on and cuddling her purse, she looks as if only her face is not covered with these accessories.

Mrs. Cake volunteers at all temples that she can find, taking over miscellaneous housekeeping duties and performing them efficiently. Unfortunately, sooner or later she invariably falls out with the priests (because she converses with the dead) and ends up leaving the temples in a mess because now nobody else knows how to fulfill the duties she has relinquished. Mrs. Cake is dreaded by all priests and priestesses across the continents, as far as the Lost Jewelled Temple of Offler, in Klatch (see Reaper Man), and maybe farther. It is possible that Mrs. Cake can be considered a witch. Besides conversing with the dead, Mrs. Cake also has the ability to turn on or turn off her precognition, a very useful tool while walking the dangerous streets of Ankh-Morpork, but premonitions also make her conversation with normal people very confusing, because she tends to reply to a question right before it has been asked. Yet, if she has replied and then the person decides not to ask the question, she gets a terrible headache.

She has an amicable working relationship with her spirit guide, One-Man-Bucket, and knows how to get his full co-operation: setting fire to a glass of whiskey, so that its ghost lasts for just long enough on the other side, is her usual reward for a job well done.

Mrs. Cake has a daughter, Ludmilla Cake, who is partly a werewolf (in Reaper Man]. Mrs. Cake now rents out rooms in her house to the undead, including the zombie Reg Shoe, the werewolf Angua von Überwald, and the vampires Count and Countess Notfaroutoe. Mrs. Cake is sensitive to the needs of the undead, such as the need for orthopedic gravel in the coffin, the need for a door handle that can be operated by a paw, and the need to leave a window open (for examples, see Men at Arms). Mrs. Cake is also tolerant of the eccentricities of the undead, such as carrying one's own arm until it is sewn back on. By the time of Making Money she is even letting a room to one Mavolio Bent, and that really is broad-minded.

She may be an unhappy medium, but she may also be psychically connected to the Goddess Czol. As evidence, see her position in the prehistoric postal pantheon by association. When Moist takes over the Post Office, the items on the "Dont arsk us about" list include two entries reading "Mrs Cake."

The full list is:

DONT ARSK US ABOUT:

• rocks
• troll's with sticks
• All sorts of dragons
• Mrs Cake
• Huje green things with teeth
• Any kinds of black dogs with orange eyebrows
• Rains of spaniel's
• fog
• Mrs Cake

And when Moist hires a very experienced golem, Anghammarad, to be a postman, the golem recalls delivering messages in a past age:

‘You really used to deliver messages for kings?’ said Groat.
‘Many Kings,’ said Anghammarad. ‘Many Empires. Many Gods. Many Gods. All Gone. All Things Go.’ The golem’s voice got deeper, as if he was quoting from memory. ‘Neither Deluge Nor Ice Storm Nor The Black Silence Of The Netherhells Shall Stay These Messengers About Their Sacred Business. Do Not Ask Us About Sabre-Tooth Tigers, Tar Pits, Big Green Things With Teeth Or The Goddess Czol’
‘You had big green things with teeth back then?’ said Tropes.
‘Bigger. Greener. More Teeth,’ rumbled Anghammarad.
‘And the goddess Czol?’ said Moist.
‘Do Not Ask.’

She has a friend, Mrs Harms-Beetle, who lives in Welcome Soap.

Evadne was also the first name of Dr Hinge, of Hinge and Bracket fame.