Stratford
| Stratford | |
 | |
| Name | Stratford (first name unknown) |
| Race | Human |
| Age | early twenties |
| Occupation | murderer in the employ of Gravid Rust |
| Physical appearance | Looks like everyone else: average height, mousy hair, no scars that show. |
| Residence | The Shires |
| Death | killed by Willikins |
| Parents | |
| Relatives | |
| Children | |
| Marital Status | |
| Appearances | |
| Books | Snuff |
| Cameos | |
Mr Stratford (first name unknown) was a homicidal maniac and all-round nut job in the employ of Gravid Rust, who murdered at least sixteen people and an unknown number of goblins, including the goblin woman whose murder set off the events of Snuff. He was young, with mousy hair and no scars that show--as generic-looking as Moist von Lipwig, in fact, except when he got angry enough for the beast inside to show through, just like Carcer. Good with a slingshot, but more often seen wielding a machete or a nasty-looking assortment of small knives. He didn't like water, and wouldn't get on a boat if he could help it.
He first came to the attention of Commander Vimes during the latter's investigation of the murder on Hangman's Hill. He tried to outwit Vimes aboard the Wonderful Fanny by disguising himself as the river rat "Eddie Brassbound", but found himself outmaneuvered instead and, after a fight in the wheelhouse, left to go down with the ship.
But Stratford was not an easy man to kill, and he resurfaced on the riverboat, the Roberta E. Biscuit, where he tried to kill Vimes' son, Young Sam Vimes Jr., only instead to be ambushed in a trap set by Vimes Sr., who had not been drunk as Stratford had first thought, (having seen him ingest many drinks named after him that night), and had set a trap for him. Only then did Stratford also meet Vimes' butler, Willikins, who had been disguised as the bartender who had made and served Vimes all of the "virgin" Sam Vimes' cocktails all night.
He was duly arrested and put on a Watch transport bound for Ankh-Morpork. Before he could be conveyed into the hands of One-Drop Trooper, however, the wagon had a nasty collision with a mail coach, allowing Stratford to escape in all the confusion. Unfortunately (for him) Willikins went looking for him and he wasn't up to the challenge of a portly (but-experienced) middle-aged butler.