Quirm College for Young Ladies

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At various times, the alma mater of Susan Sto Helit, Sybil Ramkin, Serafine von Überwald, and the witch Miss Tick. This proves that the school ethos, of turning out strong and self-reliant young women capable of taking an active role in society and working on at least equal terms with men, is not just advertising.

Employs a PE teacher whose real name is not known to us but who is known to the girls as Iron Ronnie (or Iron Lily in certain editions of Soul Music published in the United States). She bellowed encouragement on the sports field of "Give it some stick!" and "Get stuck in, you soft nellies!" could well be an unofficial school motto. If nothing else, it proves there is a kindred spirit here with the boys' school Hugglestones, who also place a high emphasis on self-expression through contact sport.

The gels are allowed, by prior consultation with the Headmistress, Miss Eulalie Butts, to stable horses at the school. This rule was stretched somewhat when Binky showed up.

Miss Butts prides herself on running a progressive and forward-looking educational establishment. The daughters of prominent trolls and dwarfs are welcomed here, as royalty adds a certain ton to the place. Dwarf pupils are excused shaving but must plait their beards and tie them with ribbons in the school colours. Trolls are generally excused sports, which take place in daytime and contribute to the overheating-and-turning-to-inanimate-stone problem of the species. And a contemporary of Sybil Ramkin's was actually a werewolf, although she was also a Grafin and a Delphine, which made it perfectly acceptable, just so long as she didn't go near the stables and salivate.

The Old Girls, thought of by Samuel Vimes as Ladies Who Organise, form a powerful group who remain in constant touch with each other and who meticulously stay in touch, hug one another when they meet, almost without exception marry rich and influential men, love to reminisce about the old days in Form 3b, in between gently steering and persuading their husbands to see things their way. Vimes suspects that if they all acted together, they'd end up running the world. A deeper suspicion that only a cynical old copper could entertain is that they already are.

Given that two of Susan Sto Helit's contemporaries were a Dwarf and a Troll, who by the end of Soul Music became firm friends, it is tempting to suppose that the Ladies who Organise, who gently steer and persuade their menfolk to see things their way, now have influential representatives in the Dwarf and Troll communities. And lately, the Discworld has been seeing a marked thawing in relations between these two species.

Teaching Staff

  • Miss Eulalie Butts, headmistress.
  • Miss Cumber, Language
  • Miss Delacross, Biology and Hygiene
  • Miss Greggs, History
  • Professor Bengo Macarona, quite likely. Makes you think.
  • "Iron Ronnie", PE and Games
  • Miss Stamp, History
  • Miss Traitor, Logic
  • Miss Turpitude, Maths (at time of Sybil Ramkin)


Notable alumnae


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