Book:Hogfather

Hogfather
Cover art by Josh Kirby
Co-author(s)
Illustrator(s)
Publisher	Doubleday
Publication date	7 November 1996
ISBN	9780575064034
Pages	416
RRP
Main characters	Death, Susan Sto Helit, Mr. Teatime
Series	Death Series
Annotations	View
Notes	Adapted as a TV film in 2006
All data relates to the first UK edition.

Blurb

It's the night before Hogswatch. And it's too quiet.

There's snow, there're robins, there're trees covered with decorations, but there's a notable lack of the big fat man who delivers the toys ...

Susan the governess has got to find him before morning, otherwise the sun won't rise. And unfortunately, her only helpers are a raven with an eyeball fixation, the Death of Rats and an oh god of hangovers.

Worse still, someone is coming down the chimney. This time he's carrying a sack instead of a scythe, but there's something regrettably familiar ...

Ho. Ho. Ho.

It's true what they say.

'You'd better watch out ...'

Plot

The story begins in the evening before Hogswatch, the Discworld counterpart of Christmas. Susan Sto Helit has found work as a governess in the Gaiter household, where her ability to see bogeymen and defeat them with a fire poker comes in extremely useful. Meanwhile, the Auditors of Reality pay the Assassins Guild a huge fee to assassinate the Hogfather (the equivalent to Father Christmas). Lord Downey sends for Jonathan Teatime, a young, dangerously talented assassin. Teatime employs five criminals, a wizard and a locksmith in his mission.

Death appears to Susan to tell her that the Hogfather is 'unavailable', and he will have to deliver the presents in his place. In Death's library, she discovers the god's hourglass has shattered and travels with Binky, the Death of Rats and a raven to the Castle of Bones (the Hogfather's residence) which collapses because children have stopped believing in the Hogfather. Here, she discovers the newly created Bilious, the "Oh God" of Hangovers, and brings him back to the Unseen University to be cured of his illness. At the University, it is revealed by Hex that the wizards are (accidentally) creating Small Gods to compensate for the lack of belief in the Hogfather.

Susan follows a trail through Ankh-Morpork and discovers that Violet Bottler, a human Tooth Fairy, went missing while taking a tooth to a criminal Banjo Lilywhite (one of Teatime's assistants). In Death's library, her biography shows she is being held captive in the land of the Tooth Fairy. Susan, the Oh God and Binky travel to the land, a world created by children's imagination. In the tower, they rescue Bottler and discover that their enemies have been using the children's teeth to control the children into not believing in the Hogfather.

Meanwhile, Teatime's group have been trying to unlock a door at the top of the tower. As Susan climb to the top of the tower, Teatime's accomplices are devoured by their childhood fears, apart from Banjo, who turns on the Assassin and refuses to attack Susan. Teatime grabs Death's sword off her but it fails to work, since children do not understand death. Susan succeeds in pushing Teatime off the tower where he falls into the pile of teeth. Through the door, she finds the original bogeyman, who became a children's myth as adults stopped believing in him. The bogeyman collected teeth to stop people from controlling the children. Susan leaves Banjo to clean up, and Bilious announces that he will be getting a new job.

Death takes her to the site of the Castle of Bones where the Hogfather, in the form of a pig, is being chased by Auditors in the form of dogs. Susan joins with the pig and guides him to safety over a cliff, while Death confronts the Auditors and condemns them for breaking the Rules. The Auditors are unable to lose their solid form and disappear off the edge of the cliff. The Hogfather transforms back into human form and flies off into the night. Death explains to her that childhood fantasies are important and help us to be human, since later we must understand "bigger lies" such as justice, mercy and duty.

As they return to the Gaiter's house, Teatime follows them in and contemplates trying to kill Death. Susan throws the nursery poker and thanks to the power of the children's belief, it passes straight through Death and impales the Assassin.

Sub-Plots

Death's tenure as the Hogfather, aided by Albert. Death barges into the grotto Crumley's department store and causes a flood of people into the shop by giving out his own presents. There is much discussion between Death and Albert on the meaning of Hogswatch, and an alternative version of the story of King Wenceslas.
Much of the humour in the book comes from the scenes in the University. Each time the Wizards mention a non-existent lare or penate, they are suddenly created, to fill the void caused by the Hogfather's absence (e.g. "Veruca Gnome", "Eater of Socks" and worst of all, the "Cheerful Fairy"). In addition, Ridcully also discovers Archchancellor Weatherwax's bathroom, designed by the dreaded Bergholt Stuttley Johnson. He re-seals it after two near accidents, one involving a tap marked Old Faithful, and a worse problem involving the University Organ, which is not described in the narrative.

Characters

Major Characters

Jonathan Teatime, an assassin
Susan Sto-Helit, Death's granddaughter
Death
Auditors of Reality
Hogfather, a god
Albert
Bilious, the Oh God of Hangovers
The Wizards of the Unseen University:
- Mustrum Ridcully, Archchancellor of Unseen UniversityUniversity
- Lecturer in Recent Runes
- Chair of Indefinite Studies
- The Bursar
- Hex
- Ponder Stibbons
- Adrian Turnipseed aka Mad Drongo
- Dean
- Senior Wrangler
- the Librarian

Minor Characters

Lord Downey, head of the Assassins' Guild
Mr Winvoe, Assassins' Guild Treasurer.
Modo, Unseen University's gardener and odd-job dwarf
Lares and Penates (small gods) created during the book (most, not all, cease to exist once belief in the Hogfather is restored):
- Verruca Gnome
- Hair Loss Fairy
- Eater of Socks
- Electric Drill Chuck Key Fairy
- Stealer of Pencils
- God of Indigestion
- Towel Wasps
- Cheerful Fairy (aka Gwendoline Smith) and the Blue Bird of Happiness (a blue bird [a hen, in fact], not a bluebird)
- Glingleglingleglingle Fairy
The Tooth Fairy, the original bogeyman
Death of Rats, with his mount Quoth (Quoth isn't mentioned by name in this book)
The Gaiter family:
- Twyla Gaiter, precocious 5-year-old girl who acts ingratiatingly cute to charm people
- Gawain Gaiter, Twyla's brother
- Mrs Gaiter, their mother, a social climber
- Mr Gaiter, their father, in the wholesale shoes and boots business
Villains who assist Teatime:
- Chickenwire
- Medium Dave Lilywhite
- Banjo Lilywhite
- Catseye
- Peachy
- Mr Sideney, a wizard, who owes money to Chrysoprase
- Mr Brown, a locksmith
Ernie, a carter, killed by Teatime
Boars of the Hogfather:
- Gouger
- Rooter
- Tusker
- Snouter
Binky, Death's horse
Nobby Nobbs, watchman
Constable "Washpot" Visit, watchman
Violet Bottler, who lives on Shamlegger Street
Mrs. Anaglypta Huggs, revisionist folklorist, who is embarassed by the
Canting Crew:
- Foul Ole Ron
- Coffin Henry
- The Duck Man
- Arnold Sideways
- Gaspode (not mentioned by name, just called "Foul Ole Ron's thinking brain dog")

Cameos

Bibulous, the God of Wine
Carter, Assassins' Guild servant
Charlie, runs Bulk Collection and Despatch for the Tooth Fairy
Vernon Crumley, owner of Crumley's in the Maul
Didactylos, philosopher
Aaron Fidget, a Hogfather disbeliever
Jack Frost, a supernatural entity
Sir George, one of Teatime's victims (as was Sir George's dog)
Miss Harding, cashier at Crumley's
Anaglypta Huggs, Hogswatch caroler who carefully removes offensive elements from songs like The Red Rosy Hen
Igor, barman at Biers
"Bloody Stupid" Johnson
Ma Lilywhite, Banjo and Dave's deceased mother
Osric Penicillium, inventor (or possibly discoverer) of the pencil
Professor of Applied Anthropics
Glossy Ron, person killed by Ma Lilywhite
Sarah, the Little Match Girl
Scissor Man
Shlimazel, a bogeyman
Ventre, philosopher
Archchancellor Galder Weatherwax
Mrs. Whitlow
Gammer Wimblestone, ran dame school Sideney attended
Mr. Winvoe, Assassin's Guild Treasurer
Children visited by Violet Bottler in her role as tooth fairy:
- The Honorable Jeffrey Bibbleton aka "Trouble in Trousers" and "Foureyes", who lives at Scrote Manor, Park Lane
- Nuhakme Icta aka "Little Jewel"
- Sophie Langtree aka "Daddy's Princess", who lives at 5 The Hippo
- William Rubin, who, due to a misunderstanding, had all his teeth taken by Violet (using pliers)
- William Wittles aka "Willy" and "Tosser", who lives at 68 Kicklebury Street
Thomas Ague, visited by a tooth fairy (not necessarily Violet), lives at 9 Castle View in Sto Lat

Mentions

Anon, collective reference for people who never received a name
John Barleycorn, a supernatural entity
Archchancellor Buckleby, died in a wardrobe
Miss Butts, Susan's former teacher (mentioned by full name in Soul Music)
Captain Carrot (mentioned as "Captain Carrot One-Man Night Watch" doll set; since it's unlikely Carrot would merchandise himself, one wonders if Dibbler is responsible here?)
Blind Io
K. W. Dobson, assassin
DeBris Gang
Fate
Mrs. Gammage, regular at Biers
Mericet
Prophet Ossory
Packley, a man with a strongroom
Windle Poons
The Sandman
Lord Selachii
Soul Cake Duck
Archchancellor Spode
General Tacticus
Old Man Trouble
Ankh-Morpork villains named Dave or similar:
- Big Dave
- Fat Dave
- Mad Dave
- Wee Davey
- Lanky Dai

Locations

Ankh-Morpork
- Biers
- The Maul, a mall
  - Crumley's, a store in the Maul
- Esoteric Street The location of both Fidgett's Gentlemans' Club and the Frout Academy For Enquiring Young Minds
- Gleam Street (mentioned)
- Goose Gate (mentioned)
- Nap Hill (mentioned)
- Phedre Road (mentioned)
- River Ankh (mentioned)
- Sator Square
- Short Street (mentioned)
- The Shades (mentioned)
- Treacle Mine Road (mentioned)
- Unreal Estate
- Unseen University
  - High Energy Magic Building
  - Great Hall
  - Archchancellor Bowell's Remembrance, a room presumably named after Bowell, an Archchancellor
  - Uncommon Room
  - Tower of Art (mentioned)
- YMPA
Agatean Empire (mentioned)
Castle of Bones, the Hogfather's home
Child's Painting Land, a land which looks like a child's painting
Death's Domain
- Death's library
- Room of Life-timers
Dunmanifestin, mountain home of the Gods
Genua (mentioned)
Howondaland (mentioned as place where people eat insects)
Klatch (mentioned)
Krull (mentioned)
Llamedos (mentioned)
Omnia (mentioned)
Quirm (mentioned)
Ramtops (mentioned)
Scrote (mentioned)
Sumtri, land where the pencil bush was first discovered

Things and Concepts

Aurora Corealis, atmospheric phenomenon resembling Aurora Borealis, but magical rather than electromagnetic
Beggars' Guild (mentioned)
Bells of St Ungulant's, song (mentioned)
Book of St Ossory
Bows and Ammo, magazine parodying Guns_and_Ammo
Bubble's Catastrophe Suite, organ piece played by the Librarian
Burleigh and Stronginthearm, crossbow manufacturers
Campaign for Equal Heights, an activism group for dwarfs, pixies, and other vertically-challenged members of society
Chase My Neighbour Up The Passage, a game
Dolls of All Nations singing Wouldn't It Be Nice If Everyone Was Nice, parody of the It's a Small World attraction and song, most commonly associated with Disneyland.
Dratley and Sons, wardrobe manufacturers
Dried frog pills
Englebert's Enhancer, a substance that enhances properties of other substances
Fast of St Ossory, celebrated in Omnia about the same time as Hogswatch
Fighting Tiger Limpet, fairly aggressive mollusk favored (as food) by wizards
First Empire, time period
Grandmother's Footsteps, a game
Happy Tales, a reading primer
Hogswatchnight, holiday setting for book
Hunt the Slipper, a game
I Spy, also a Roundworld game
Improved Manicure Device, Bloody Stupid invention used to peel potatoes
Krullian pipefish, an animal that's probably not related to bananas
Offler's League of Temperance, a group that refrains from alcohol
Sardines, identical to the Roundworld game of the same name
scumble, alcoholic drink made from "mainly apples"
Spold's Unstirring Divisor, a spell that separates things
SpoIt's Forthright Respirator, spell that can help people breathe
Thieves' Guild (mentioned)
'Three Wizards' Chardonnay, a brand of wine
Twurp's Peerage
Viper House, a house (dormitory?) in the Assassin's Guild
Winkles Old Peculiar, a brand of beer
Woddeley's Basic Gods, a book
Woddeley's Occult Sequence, a locking spell
Wow-Wow Sauce, a dangerous condiment, outlawed in three cities
Year of the Sideways Leech (mentioned)
Year of the Talking Frog (mentioned)

Television

Terry Pratchett's Hogfather

ASIN	B000V7ZMK0
IMDB	0765458
First Broadcast	17-18 December 2006
Broadcast Channel	Sky One
Director(s)	Vadim Jean
Producer(s)	Rod Brown & Ian Sharples
Writer(s)	{{{writer}}}
Starring	Michelle Dockery, Marc Warren, Ian Richardson, Joss Ackland, David Jason
Duration	189 minutes
Episodes	2
Series	Death Series
Annotations	Annotations for Book:Hogfather
Notes
Preceded by	Soul Music
Followed by	Terry Pratchett's The Colour Of Magic
All data relates to the UK home release.

The novel was made into a TV film in 2006. Titled Terry Pratchett's Hogfather, it was first broadcast as a two-parter on Sky One, on 17 December and 18 December. Terry Pratchett made a cameo as a toymaker.

Cast

Susan Sto Helit - Michelle Dockery (Fingersmith, Downton Abbey)
Jonathan Teatime - Marc Warren (Hustle, State of Play, Band of Brothers)
Death (voice) - Ian Richardson (House of Cards, The Final Cut)
Albert - David Jason (Only Fools And Horses, A Touch Of Frost, The Darling Buds of May)
Mustrum Ridcully - Joss Ackland (White Mischief, Lethal Weapon 3, Cliffhanger, Midsommer Murders)
Lord Downey - David Warner (Planet of The Apes, The Omen)
Mr. Sideney - Nigel Planer (The Young Ones)
The Raven (voice) - Neil Pearson (Bridget Jones' Diary, Drop The Dead Donkey)

Medium Dave Lilywhite - Peter Guinness (Sleepy Hollow, Coronation Street)
Banjo Lilywhite - Stephen Marcus (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels)
Violet Bottler the Tooth Fairy - Sinead Matthews (Pride And Prejudice)
Bilious - Rhodri Meilir (My Family)
Ernie The Cart Driver - Arthur White (A Touch of Frost, The Darling Buds of May)
Vernon Crumley - Tony Robinson (Blackadder, Time Team)